Taking Johnny: A New-Adult Novel Read online

  Her father. Ouch. That stung. “You’re right,” I say.

  She sighs loudly. “Anyway...”

  “Do you want me to come over?” I ask. Me, always the fucking gentleman.

  “Oh, Christ. This is such a fuck-up, J. We all love each other, you know that? The three of us. Me, you, Nicole. We love each other. Yes, I want you to come over. And no, I don’t. I want you to come over because I need...someone. And I don’t because...because...”

  “Nic would want me to come be with you, Cat. You shouldn’t be alone.”

  She doesn’t give me permission. But she doesn’t forbid me either. I put the phone down and hightail it to the hospital.

  -2-

  Seeing her is difficult. It is. It’s a different emotion with Cat, completely different. When I’m around Nic, it’s hot, burning lust. I want to bury my cock in her and hear her pant and moan. I want it to be frantic and mad and wild and hungry. I feel bad around Nicole, strong, powerful. Fuckin manly, goddamnit.

  Around Cat...I’m butter. She’s my kryptonite.

  With Cat I feel vulnerable, afraid, uncertain, worried. I feel like a goddamn woman. I hate the feeling. Hate it.

  And I also love it.

  I love letting go. I love not thinking, not worrying, not needing to feel like the man or having to hold on to every goddamn little freaking thing in the universe, trying to keep things from colliding. Around Cat, I can sink into the whirlpool and see where it takes me.

  But last time, it took me to hell.

  I see her at the end of the emergency room hallway, backlit by terrible white light. Her skin looking unhealthy and clammy under its glare. Her blue eyes are rimmed red and swollen. Her hair’s a mess, scattered everywhere.

  She looks beautiful. She looks absolutely fucking magnificent. Rita Hayworth never looked better.

  I don’t so much walk as I glide over thermals to her, attracted by a magnet so powerful that I’m sure I’ll crush her when I get to her. Already I’m losing grip, losing control. Already I’m feeling my fingers crush against the slipping gravel at the top of that mountain.

  And I’m falling.

  When I get to her, I don’t want to pump her. I don’t want to fuck her like mad as if I’m desperate for some closure or release or relief. I just want to be held, to melt, to forget.

  Like I said, I’m a pansy around her.

  She crumples into a ball of nothing in my arms. She doesn’t weep outwardly, but I can tell she’s broken, that she’s suffered all night.

  “Let’s sit,” Cat says.

  She leaves my arms like dead foliage in the fall. Cold air strikes me where her warmth had been a second ago. I sit next to her on a hard plastic chair. An old guy with a bandage around his head sits in the corner. A woman with a belly about to pop screams at someone over the counter. The nurse, a big black woman that even I’d be scared to mess with, screams back and the pregnant lady shuts up in a hurry.

  “You need to get out of here,” I say to Cat. “It’s not a great environment.”

  “That’s what Nicole said.”

  “She was right.”

  Silence for a moment. I start to get the feeling that mentioning Nicole from now on will bring about that silence each time.

  “I told her to go,” Cat says. “She insisted on staying, but I told her to go.”

  I say nothing, not understanding.

  “Just in case you were wondering,” she continues. “Just in case you think she’s a bad friend or something.”

  I can tell this is partly her thinking aloud, the idea of a “bad friend.” The idea that if Nicole and I hit it off, Nicole would be a bad friend or something. I think it’s a big thing with girls. It’s different with guys. Guys just have a fist-fight and whoever wins has rights to the girl. Simple.

  “There’s nothing going on between me and her,” I reassure her. I’m not saying nothing will go on.

  “OK,” she says. And nothing else.

  “Let’s get you out of here, Cat. Let’s take a walk or something. You need some space. You need some...” I look around. “...air.”

  She gives the slightest of nods, and before she can blink, I have her at the Financial District.

  -3-

  It’s the Financial District’s best kept secret, and it’s called the Elevated Acre, a one-acre park hidden away between high-rises, accessible only after climbing two gargantuan escalators, and which you’ll never find unless you know where to look. We sit on one of the benches that’s hidden in a nook behind some trees and shrubs. Only in the sunlight now do I see how the night took its toll on Cat. She looks gaunt, and gray. I just want to hold her, to make her feel better.

  “It’s been a long time,” she says. She takes a bite out of the Subway sandwich I bought for her.

  “Us, or the sandwich?”

  She smiles wanly. Chews. Doesn’t answer.

  “Yeah, it has been,” I say. When she’s done with her sandwich, I ask her the one question that’s been burning in my mind since I saw her standing like a wraith outside Tiago’s door last night. “You gonna stay with him?” I ask.

  She almost chokes. “Are you fuckin kidding me?”

  “Just checking.”

  “You know I’m not like that, J.”

  “I don’t know what you’re like. A year has gone by. We’re two different people to what we were.”

  She says nothing.

  “Aren’t we?” I prompt.

  She shakes her head slowly. “I don’t think I’m a different person.”

  Maybe she isn’t. Maybe it was only me who went off the deep-end.

  “I don’t understand the reaction,” I say. “With him. This...Tiago. You...”

  “You guys were almost killing him, J. And...” She looks away, down at the people lying on the grass in the open area, through the trees. “And...I...love...him.”

  It stings when she says it. Stings like fire. I pushed her in this direction. I did. So, no one to blame but myself. But it still stings.

  “That he had his cock in that slut’s mouth doesn’t mean I instantly stop loving him. It also doesn’t mean I’m going to be with him. I’m not. He betrayed me in the worst possible way. And he lied to me. But I do love him. I’m sure that love will...fade...one day.”

  “Will it?”

  She thinks on it for a second. “No,” she mumbles. Looks away. “Probably not. Love never fades.”

  Her lips tease me. It would be so easy. So easy. On Saturday, everything was different. She was involved. And I made a move...on her best goddamn friend. Not the brightest choice, I confess. But it made sense...at the time.

  And now...

  “Why did you do it?” she asks. And my immediate thought is that she’s asking why I kissed her best friend. But I’m not sure.

  “Do what?”

  “Tiago. Why did you go for him? What’s it to you?”

  “He angered me.”

  “But why?”

  “Do you really want me to answer that, Cat?”

  “Yes.”

  “Because I love you. I’ll always love you.”

  Her shoulders sag slightly. “What a fuck-up,” she says.

  “You’re telling me.”

  “Do you love Nicole?” she asks.

  “No. I don’t.” I’m surprised at the candor of my answer, and the certainty. “But I could come to love her, and not in a demeaning way. I...” I look over at Cat, wondering if she can take the answer.

  “Tell me,” she says. “I want to keep us all together. I want us to deal with this like adults.”

  I swallow hard. “I never loved Susana. I never loved Marina. There was no spark there. I’ve been with Nic before.” I notice Cat’s eye twitch when I say ‘Nic’ and not ‘Nicole.’ “I know that there’s something there between us that could grow, and maybe become real.”

  “It’s me or her, J. And... I don’t mean that as a threat. I... It will be final. It’ll be... I can’t do that to her. She has feelings for you.
She’s had...a tough life—”

  “I know.”

  Cat looks skeptically at me.

  “Her father,” I say. “I know.”

  “You knew about that?”

  “Know about it. I know now. I didn’t before. She told me.”

  Cat looks at me for a long while. “It’s no light thing, J, that she’s falling for you. No light thing. I know her deeply. She... She doesn’t fall for people. Doesn’t. This is a big deal. A major deal. So if you don’t feel the same for her...”

  If I knew what I felt, I’d make an analytical decision. But love is not logical. I learned that when Cat dumped me. None of it’s logical. “I can’t promise I won’t hurt her.” Again, I see that twitch in Cat’s eye, as if it hurts to hear this. “But... This wasn’t a choice on Saturday, Cat.”

  Rivers of tears fall from Cat’s eyes. Silent, quiet, torrential tears. “It isn’t a choice now either, Johnny.” At first I don’t get what she means. “I can’t do that to her. And when you get to know her better, you’ll understand what I mean. Like I said: Big deal. Major deal. You’ll be good for her. Just... Just do your best to make it work, OK?”

  I’m still stunned, still shocked, still uncertain of what the fuck is going on here.

  And then she stands, looks down at me. Cups my cheeks. Her eyes, her eyes, her beautiful, mesmerizing eyes... They’re agonized and dying. Flickering with pain. She leans down to my forehead, kisses it once. Her hands tighten on my cheeks, and I feel her wet tears as she presses her eyes against my temple. “Goodbye, Johnny,” she says. “Be good to her.”

  And then she storms off, runs down the escalators, almost trips.

  And she’s gone.

  CHAPTER THREE

  -1-

  Sat, Aug 29

  I don’t chase girls. It’s a lesson I learned a year ago. I chased Cat for five months, and that got me nothing. I’m not gonna chase Nicole either. Only problem is, every time I’m near her...

  It’s sexual, purely sexual. I know that. Has to be. But it doesn’t change the fact.

  I’m afraid to be alone with her, because if I am, I’ll do it. I’ll take her. I won’t ask questions. And there’ll be no turning back.

  After Cat went psycho and smashed Nicole’s phone, Nic came to my place and we talked and talked and talked. She was hysterical. She told me about her father, only bits of it.

  I confess, she wormed her way into my heart. And the burning yearning at my cock changed to something more meaningful.

  If it were only her, I’d do it.

  If she weren’t Cat’s friend, I’d do it.

  But neither of those facts are true. And Cat and I aren’t dead and buried. We’ll never be dead and buried. Call me sentimental, call me emotional, call me effeminate. But there will always be something there between us. And if Nic and I don’t make it (chances of which are high because the emotions I feel for her are not strong enough to call love), I can’t guarantee that I won’t end up in bed with Cat again one day. And that would destroy everything between us.

  It’s been a week since the brawl with Tiago. I’ve seen Nicole twice since then, when I went past Cat’s place to talk to Thunder and Alice. It was then that I decided it’d be best we don’t see each other privately.

  Thunder’s decided to take over the Manhattan club with me. I was gonna partner up with a dude here, but Thunder’s got the capital to put in fifty percent and buy the dude out. I like the idea. The guy I was going with is a little...slow. A little...hesitant. I want the place to boom. I want it to be the hottest, fastest, sexiest goddamn club in all of New York. The middle-aged dude who currently runs the place is a little...behind the times.

  I’ll keep the show running, and Thunder will advise on matters when he’s in town. It looks like he’ll be in town more and more often. He and Alice keep getting more and more serious.

  We’re at a bar, Soho. Going over names for the club, opening night, initial capital. Thunder nurses a bourbon while I sip on a sherry.

  “Tiago’s not pressing charges,” he says to me.

  “I know. That’s not necessarily a good thing.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “There’s no reason for him not to. And he’s not a pussy from what I could see. He probably wants revenge, the good old fashioned way.”

  “Let him try.” Thunder drains the bourbon and signals for another one.

  “This dude’s from the favelas, Thunder. He’s got connections.”

  “And I’m from goddamn Texas.”

  -2-

  The name of the club will be Abre. It’s a play on my last name and the fact that abre is the commanding form of “open” in Portuguese. Yes, you’re right to ponder the double-meaning in that.

  Thunder wants to remain a silent partner. He wants me to be the “face” of the club. “Because you’re young,” he says. And then he looks me over like some slut. “And...virile.”

  “You’re hitting on me?” I joke.

  “You’re not my type. Besides, you probably wouldn’t know the first thing about giving head, Yungin.”

  I don’t argue, because I’m afraid he’ll challenge me to prove it or something.

  “Now what’s the deal between you and these two girls?” he drawls.

  “Two girls?”

  “Don’t act stupid, Johnny. You know who I’m talkin about. Nicole and Catherine. What’s the deal?”

  “Are we gonna have an ‘emotional’ talk now?”

  “Do I look like the fuckin emotional type?” I look at him across the booth table, black leather jacket, army-style hair. Razor blue eyes. No, definitely not the emotional type.

  “There’s nothing going on.”

  “Oh, sure. The two of them mope around the fuckin house and it’s playing up a damper on my sex life because Alice is fuckin worried about em. And when I take her out and want to get it on with her, all I get is how fuckin worried she is about Cat.”

  “Like I said, there’s nothing going on. They have their own shit to deal with.”

  “And you’re the center of that shit.”

  “Not my fault.” I explain the situation to him, and them being best friends. He shrugs. “Well, do you like Nicole?”

  “She makes me horny. That’s it.”

  “Is there any other kind of liking? C’mon, Johnny, you’re talkin to a fuckin man here. Don’t pretend I’m Cat.”

  “Yeah, Nicole gets my cock hard. Every time I’m around her I wanna blast her, slam her up against a wall and do her until she’s panting like a fuckin dog.”

  “What about Cat? What’s the deal there?”

  If I tell him the truth about Cat I’ll sound like a pansy. “It’s different with Cat.” I drain my sherry, look over at the bar.

  “Because you care about her.”

  “What, are we male-bonding now?”

  “If we were male bonding, son, I’d have my cock up your ass. I don’t ‘bond.’ I just want to know the truth.”

  “I’d fuck Cat up against a wall as well. I have, actually.”

  “C’mon, Johnny, don’t give me the tough-boy act. I’m not asking if you’d fuck the girl. I’m asking what the deal is between you two.”

  “You know our history?”

  He nods. Obviously Alice has told him.

  “Well, that’s the deal. Nothing more to it.”

  “Do you love her?”

  It feels really weird having this heart-to-heart with a biker gang leader...

  I dump the second sherry down my throat. “It’s complicated.”

  “Damn straight it is. And I’m trying to un-complicate it so that I can get my sex life back on track. You gotta do something, Johnny. I don’t care if you fuck or don’t fuck them or even if the three of you have a goddamn threesome and stick strap-ons up each other’s asses. Pick one of them, don’t pick one of them, whatever. But somehow it needs to be laid to rest.”

  “Nicole invited me to a rooftop party tonight. She finished her screenwriter’s class y
esterday.”

  “You think I invited you here because of your good looks?”

  “You knew about it?”

  Thunder looks at his watch. “It starts in a half hour from what I innocently overheard.”

  “It was great doing business with you, Thunder.”

  “Always a pleasure.”

  -3-

  The ass at the party is unheard of. The blonde that went down on Tiago is here. Honestly, I can’t blame the guy for wanting a piece of that—if he’d been single. If his cock hadn’t been in her mouth, I’d swoop in there and try my hand at her myself.

  Of course, I wouldn’t do it while in a relationship with someone. And that’s the key difference between me and that punk.

  Nicole and Cat aren’t here yet. I feel like a third wheel just hanging around. But it’s not long before some babe is flirting with me. She’s short, great tits. A little weighty, but that’s fine. More to grab on to. She’s doing the wide-eyed thing and laughing at everything I say, fluttering her eyelids. She runs her hand seductively over her generous breasts, trying to make it look like a natural movement. Fantastic cleavage.

  Anyway. Too bad I’m not that kind of guy.

  To my horror, the blonde who called the cops on us on Sunday is next to me as well suddenly. I’d use the expression like flies to shit, but if they’re the flies...

  “Simone,” she tells me her name is. And her smirk is no less flirtatious.

  “Uhm, Johnny,” I say, feeling slightly disgusted as I hold her hand. She doesn’t let go and I have to extract it from her like a thorn from the thigh.

  “I know,” she says. Her voice is extremely husky. She’s probably an expert in bed. “I love your ink, by the way.” She strokes her long-fingernailed hand down my right arm, over the ink that covers it.

  Hell, I don’t even feel the slightest of twitches down there while she turns on the gamma rays of lust against me. Not a twitch. The plumpy girl had more going for her.

  But then they walk in. They. The two of them. The two girls who mean the world to me. Two girls who not only make my cock twitch, but turn on other hormones and sensations that leave me wobbly and wanting.